A Brief History of the Kingdom of Nil

image of christ appears on an
empty billboard just north of town
but this is not hope

dead men are not the future

let the dogs run wild

let the children live in fear

taste of gasoline should be
enough to keep them going

the promise of pain and
abandoned shopping malls

everything broken and
seen from a distance

bulldozers and small unnamed
lakes of blood

the ashes of everyone that
no one will remember

it’s a big fucking world so
it’s a big fucking number

happy?

sure

find the hole in the wall where the
mice get in or the one in the sky
where all the light pours out

think about your father’s death

has it happened yet?

it will

and you tell me that all you want is
an apology but from who?

for what?

grow up already

january and five below zero and
it’s not gonna change any time soon

we are all defined by
our failure to escape

hope matters
but it doesn’t save you

learn this young, maybe, and
give yourself a fighting chance

find yourself a temporary peace between
the vultures and the buzzards,
between the jackals and the wolves

call it home but be
prepared to run and remember
that this is not hope, no,
but it’s all we have

it’s who we are

no gods and no devils and so the blame
for what we cannot achieve,
for the atrocities we commit, is a
bigger burden than most of us
are willing to bear

the idea of suicide remains
unspoken but constant

the idea of crawling naked
across frozen rivers,
or of breathing just beneath the ice

of losing the sun

you open your eyes, finally,
after a lifetime of blindness,
and it’s gone

— JOHN SWEET

John Sweet sends greetings from the rural wastelands of upstate New York. He is a firm believer in writing as catharsis, and in compassionate nihilism which, as luck would have it, has all the best bands. His published collections include NO ONE STARVES IN A NATION OF CORPSES (2020 Analog Submission Press) and THERE’S ONLY ONE WAY THIS IS GOING TO END (Cyberwit, 2023).